Today I woke up later than intended, even though I’d set an alarm. My phone had disappeared in my sleeping bag and I guess I didn’t hear it. This resulted in me being the last one out of camp. The first two days my body had been very forgiving, but today my calves felt shattered. Super sore. I tried pacing myself, but felt that my body was finally addressing the physical activity from the past two days; we had hit the trail pretty hard under scorching circumstances. Fortunately temperatures dropped some ten degrees overnight. This made for pleasant hiking weather in the morning.
I caught myself often trying to keep a slower pace, but then slid back into pushing harder again; maybe because I made up the rear of the group. Along the way I stopped to fill up my water bottles at a creek, stocking up to make it to the a nearby campsite. 
After hiking the majority of the morning by myself, I finally arrived with very tired legs at Pine House Tavern. This is where I collapsed.
This whole experience is tough. It is new. It is scary. There is so much more to hiking and living in the wild than just walking and pitching a tent. I have been working very hard the past 8 months to make it possible for me to be here. The last months in Manchester have been a whirlwind of planning and work, and I could hardly give myself the time to take a break. I rushed straight into this adventure, all the while expecting to just get on with it.
Today my body gave me a clear sign to slow down the pace. To give myself more room to adjust. At lunch I felt gutted, exhausted. After devouring a massive cheeseburger with fries, I struggled to make up my mind and make a plan for the rest of the day. The rest of the hikers I have been hanging out with had already hiked out.
I eventually decided to move out too, but aimed to really keep my pace down. There was a campsite approximately 5 miles away which I hoped would suffice. As I walked alone, I plugged in my earphones and hit the shuffle-button. Then something happened. A song that bears significant meaning to me hit a nerve. I felt the stress relieved, and as I was hiking tears rolled down my face. I didn’t feel sad, I felt a sense of relieve. To be alone in nature, surrounded with amazing views, and listening to beautiful music, the tension flowed away. It was cleansing, and I felt so very grateful to be were I am.
Pushing on, and not really satisfied with the campsites I passed, I decided to hike further than I intended. In hindsight this was not the best decision. So I would learn. Walking along a very exposed ridge, the winds picked up strongly. I was getting worried I would have to walk too far to get to a decent campsite, since I was ascending and moving out of the forested area. I started feeling heavy-hearted again until I turned a corner. The view that the PCT exposed, took my breath away. A magnificent pick-me-up. And so the trail provides...
On this exposed section the winds were gusting like mad, and I was getting really tired now. It was time to make camp soon. When I decided on a location lower in the valley I checked my phone and saw I ad a message. I learned that my hiker buddies had made camp on a campground nearby. I however misinterpreted the message and went up a wrong trail. Exposed to the howling winds I was starting to get cold now, and my worries increased. I sat down underneath some bushes for shelter, fumbled my phone out of my pocket and checked the map. Discovering my error I knew now I had to hike less than 2 miles before I would make it to the campground. Even though these extra miles were not at all what I’d intended to have my body suffer through, I figured that a sheltered campsite was still worth the extra effort; otherwise I would have to hike back to the valley which would be less far, but I’d be alone and exposed.
When I made it into the campsite, at mile 47.5, I smiled in relieve. Today has been an emotional rollercoaster and mother nature and the PCT have shown both their fangs and beauty.
You can tell me what is true
and all the things I gotta do
To be sure, to be safe
for the danger on the way
I can tell you ’bout my life
and all the things that I have tried
Doing good, being straight, being carefull everyday
Got another point of view
in all the things I wanna do
I’m not stupid, I’m not blind
just don’t wanna waste my time
You can tell me what is wise
cause life is just one big surprise,
So I go, with the flow, what’ll happen I don’t know
Go up and down, round and round, on a rollercoaster
I close my eyes I fly on my rollercoaster ride
Rollercoaster – Di-rect!
